Macaulay Culkin Reveals How Messed Up Kevin McCallister Is 25 Years After Home Alone

What if a grown-up Kevin McCallister was your Uber driver? That’s more or less the premise of the first episode of musician Jack Dishel’s new Web series :DRYVRS.

In the same way that each episode of the Web series High Maintenance chronicles the customers our protagonist pot dealer encounters, :DRYVRS stars Dishel as the user of an unnamed car service who has odd interactions with the people who pick him up.

In the first episode, released today, the rarely seen Culkin plays what is soon revealed to be a mid-30s version of his character from Home Alone. Clearly disturbed by his past experiences, he lays out this scenario for Dishel’s passenger-turned-driver.

“It’s fucking Christmas time, and your whole family goes on vacation, right?” he says. “And they forget their 8-year-old fucking son… all by yourself, in the house, for a week.”

“I had to fend off my house from two psychopath home invaders,” he continues. “I mean, I still have nightmares about this bald, weirdo dude chasing me around, talking like Yosemite Sam. ‘I’m gonna pull your fingernails out! I’m gonna get you, you little scamp!’” Even more unnerving, the thieves didn’t even curse, instead just calling him “‘louse’ and shit like that.” He doesn’t understand how his parents could have forgotten “the cutest fucking 8-year-old in the universe, by far.”

Things take a seriously dark turn when someone tries to carjack them at gunpoint and Culkin says, “You picked the wrong car, my friend.”

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